Sexy and the City Necklace
[This project is from The Big-Ass Book of Bling by Mark Montano.]
What you need to make this thing:
- plastic letters, such as those magnet things
- silver-tone chain
- 4 silver-tone jump rings
- silver-tone lobster clasp
- glue like E-6000 (I’m using Household Goop because I have it)
- wire cutters
- big safety pin
- something to light candle
Make sure you have enough plastic letters to spell your word. There were two notable things about my letter sets—
First, they were magnetic letters without magnets:
Second, there was only one punctuation mark, and it was a semi-colon:
Also, all the Ts were the same color. But so were the Qs, no big deal.
Glue your letters together in the word you want. The glue I’m using takes two hours to cure.
While the glue is drying, you can cut your chain to size. The book says cut the pieces to six inches, but even if you’re spelling “fuckstain” that seems a bit short. I went with eight.
Fasten jump rings to the ends of the chain. Put a lobster clasp on one before you close it. Now the chains have a clasp.
Once the glue is dry, it’s time to poke holes for the jump rings in the letters. You need one hole on each end. Here’s how you’re supposed to do it:
Open a safety pin and hold it in your pliers like so:
Light your candle and hold the point of the pin in the flame. When the pin is hot enough (it will get sooty and may seem to be on fire a little), poke it at a spot on the magnet near the edge and it will go right through. Then repeat for the other side.
I was surprised that this worked—and even more surprised I didn’t hurt myself.
I don’t really know the best way to get the soot spots off there, though.
Open the jump rings, thread them through the holes and attach the unused side of the chains.
Then find out that your fucking lobster clasp doesn’t work, and replace it with one that OPENS.
And all of that nerve-wracking bullshit gets you this sexy thing which doesn’t fit around my neck:
time: about 3 hours, all told
cost: $10.43 US
injuries: none—well, some hand cramps fiddling with the jump rings
You can buy a necklace that says “BUTT” here.
[This project is from Stick It! by T.L. Bonaddio.]
This book has really doofy little stories before the projects that make no sense and don’t have much to do with the projects. On top of the goofy, pretentious names. Here’s the story for this project:
Genevieve’s mother allowed her to wear earrings [The word earrings is in yellow for some reason]. She loved to hear her mother say “You’re such a pretty woman now” just so Genevieve could say for once in her life, “I know.”
What you need to make these things:
- red duct tape
- cutting mat
- craft or utility knife
- straight edge/ruler
- two pairs of pliers
- small hole punch
First, cut two four-inch pieces of duct tape and fold them, sticky-side in, into squares.
For the next step you need the template. The one in the book was pretty basic:
So I free-handed my own. I did the scribble-all-over-the-back-with-a-pencil thing to transfer—and to my surprise, it actually worked:
Now you have to cut the things out. You can do the outside with scissors, but for the intricate parts you need a knife. I was having a lot of trouble getting my knife to cut this shit until I realized I needed to change the blade.
Then you need to punch a hole in the lump at the top.
The terrible thing is how these aren’t much worse than the ones in the book.
Use the pliers to open the loop on an earring hook, and slide the top hole of one duct-tape thingy onto the loop.
This is where I learned why you usually just attach things to earrings with jump rings. The realization sounded like this: “Shit! For fuck’s sake! Now I can’t get it to fucking CLOSE!”
Fancy, ain’t they? Never did get those fucking things to close, either.
time: about 40 minutes
cost: around $6.72 US, more if you need to buy new blades or something
injuries: hand cramps, frown headache
You can buy whatever these are supposed to be here.